Marriage. That most ancient and noble of institutions.
Insofar as we know, the first ceremonies uniting one man with one woman began some 4350 years ago in Mesopotamia. In the following centuries, monogamous marriage was adopted by the major civilisations – the Greeks, the Hebrews, and the Romans.
Marriage transcends time and culture. It is, without a doubt, the very foundation of the society we enjoy today.
Why?
Our cities were not built, our fields were not tilled, and our people were not defended by disparate “productive economic units”, but by husbands. Courageous, selfless men who were prepared to protect and provide. To lay down their liberty for the sake of tomorrow.
Without them, we would have nothing.
And yet, right now, today, dark forces seek to destroy the very hand that feeds them. A full and proper discussion of their motivations is beyond the scope of this essay, but know that these people are out there. And, despite appearances, they do not have your best interests at heart.
So where am I going with this?
Well, if you’re still reading, I suspect you’re a married man.
Your state in life is in and of itself worthy of praise and respect. However, you have assumed a weighty mantle of responsibility.
You have a wife. Perhaps children. And if you are possessed of a functioning moral compass, you know full well you have a duty to keep them safe and looked after.
To protect and provide.
But here’s the twist: It’s here many married men make a fatal error.
In their selfless pursuit of what’s best for their family, they neglect themselves.
It starts slowly. A missed training session here… an unplanned dietary dalliance there…
Over time, it gets worse. The bad choices compound, and so too do the consequences.
Eventually, they’re left standing in front of the mirror wondering how on Earth they’ve gotten to this point.
If the above resonates, the reason is you, like so many others, have lost control.
Yes, you’re successful in many areas. Career, money, and so on. But what good is any of this if you’re lacking in the one area that makes it all possible?
To be in anything other than the best physical condition you can manage is to put it all at risk.
The evidence is unequivocal. The higher your weight climbs, the greater your chances of developing sinister illnesses like cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. Diseases that, even if they don’t kill you, will have a tremendous impact on your quality of life, and take a horrific toll on your family.
Of course, if you do nothing, there’s a chance you won’t develop one of the above-mentioned conditions or their close cousins. We’ve all heard stories of people who smoked 50 a day and lived to a ripe old age without any serious health problems whatsoever.
But is it wise to do nothing – considering all the evidence?
More importantly – is it the right thing to do?
I think you know the answers.
Look, If you’re out of shape it’s not because you’re lazy. You’ve just gotten your priorities messed up, and you only made the decisions you made because you’re fundamentally decent.
That said, I’m not letting you off the hook.
You are also where you are, in part, because you chose to follow the path of least resistance.
It’s easier to go straight home after a hard day’s work than it is to go to the gym first.
It’s easier to manage your stress by eating things you know you shouldn’t than it is to develop mental toughness.
You get the idea.
Does this make you a failure?
No. Not at all. I’m confident you’re doing the best you can under the circumstances. Frankly, me expecting you to have this stuff nailed is just as asinine as you expecting me to have a broad and deep understanding of the things you are expert in.
Mastering the art and science of juggling training, eating right, getting enough sleep, etc. alongside your commitments to your wife and children if you have them takes time, practice, and guidance.
Regardless, you’re up to the challenge.
How do I know?
Simple. As a married man, you’ve got skin in the game.
Whether player, involuntary celibate, or anywhere in between, single men will never understand what it means to be subordinate to something greater than themselves. When they train, follow a diet, and do all the other things a man needs to do to stay strong and healthy, nobody really cares. It’s an act of self-gratification. A virtuous one, for sure. But self-gratifying nonetheless.
For you, it’s different.
When you do what needs to be done to get in shape, it’s by definition a self–transcendent process. It’s an act of service towards something greater – your family.
At least, it should be – if you want to stick at it for any length of time.
Believe me when I tell you, you’re not going to get out of bed at 0500 to go the gym on a dark, frigid Tuesday morning if the only reason you’re going is to get a ripped six-pack.
Perhaps it’ll be enough in the early days, but self-centred motivation like this won’t sustain you.
Here is why: Contrary to what you may have been led to believe, results are hard-won and often stubborn and slow to come. This means there will be times when you train for months for what feels like little return.
Now consider, would you quit your job if things got tough?
Methinks not.
Why?
Your family would be harmed. Without your income, you wouldn’t be able to keep them in the manner to which they have become accustomed.
But would you stop working if there were no consequences for those you love?
Maybe you would, maybe you wouldn’t. Regardless, the very fact you’d give the idea any serious consideration proves just how much marriage raises the stakes.
Training, eating right, and leading a disciplined lifestyle are no different.
If you’re only doing it for yourself, the temptation to quit is ever-present.
On the other hand, when you do it for your family, quitting is no longer an option.
Truthfully, that’s the key to getting results and keeping them right there: Understanding why you’re doing this.
- Why you’re stepping outside your comfort zone.
- Why you’re challenging yourself through exercise.
- Why you’re enforcing the new habits you need to succeed.
Remember: It’s not for you. It’s for your spouse. For your children.
And now you have a watershed decision to make.
You can take decisive action to bring your commitment to your health and fitness in line with the other things you do to protect and provide.
Or you can do nothing, continue on your current course, and expose those who matter to you most to preventable risk.
You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequences of your decision.
So if you’re ready to take back control – to become the strong, lean, and healthy man your family deserves, your best course of action is to examine the letter I wrote explaining how I can help you for the princely price of £100/month.
Here are the details:
www.philtyreman.co.uk/information
Thank you,
Phil Tyreman