Sometimes, I can be very stupid.
I know, it’s hard to believe that Yours Baldly is prone to profound fits of thickheadedness, but it is true.
Let me tell you a story to prove the point:
One winter evening in 2017, Jess and I had planned to go to the cinema (I think we were going to see the abomination that was The Last Jedi, or maybe a Marvel film – I am not too sure which).
It was also leg day, so the plan was for the two of us to hit the gym after work then take a shower, change, and head into town.
I was in one of my “powerlifting phases” at the time, wherein I’d developed an obsession with lifting monstrously heavy weights for no reason other than to satisfy my large and fragile ego.
Part of this involved using supportive equipment, specifically a thick belt and pair of knee wraps (I’ve never worn wrist wraps because I cannot get on with them).
For the uninitiated, knee wraps are a bandage like device that you wrap very tightly around your knees. When you squat, they stretch and store energy during the eccentric (lowering) phase of the lift which is released during the concentric (raising) phase, providing a significant boost through the sticking point, thereby allowing the use of heavier weights than one would otherwise be able to manage.
That’s the idea, anyway.
Because that evening I made a simple mistake with consequences that bedevil me to this day.
Remember how I said Jess and I were going to see a film?
We’d pre-paid for tickets so we could reserve a pair of fancy seats (the ones with the removable arm rests to facilitate snuggling). Jess, being the stellar organiser that she is, had allowed plenty of time for most normal, sensible people to fit in a solid gym session beforehand.
Only problem is, Muggins here is not a normal, sensible person and in those days I had a nasty habit of training at a glacial pace (mostly because I was greatly lacking in the cardiorespiratory department).
And so, like Cinderella at the ball with the clock ticking perilously close to midnight, I was cutting it fine.
Hence, Jess (who had long finished her workout) came and stood in my eyeline with a very disapproving look upon her face.
A smart person would have jacked their session in at this point.
But I am not always a smart person.
So I figured I could rush my way through my last working set of squats.
On went the knee wraps, but in my haste I applied them incorrectly.
I knew immediately I’d put them on wrong because I could feel my kneecap being pushed out to the right, but I had a film to catch so I slipped under the bar, walked out the obscenely heavy load, started to squat down and…
… BANG!
I am not exaggerating when I say the noise that came out of my right knee could be fairly mistaken for a gunshot.
The pain was instantaneous and severe.
Somehow I managed to re-rack the bar (adrenaline is a powerful thing, I suppose) before collapsing to the floor in a snotty heap.
Yes, we still went to see the film. Jess had to drive because my leg was out of commission.
I also couldn’t get on and off the lavatory without Jess’ help for probably three days afterwards, struggled to manage stairs for well over a month, and now some seven years later enjoy osteoarthritis’ frigid kiss on a regular basis.
Truly, a monumentally stupid decision.
I’m mentioning all of this because it’s tangentially relevant to one part of April’s king-sized issue of “The Phil Tyreman Letter” (it’s over 10,000 words long) where I discuss supportive equipment (specifically the parts on how not to use a belt and why you should never tie your self-worth to the weight on the bar).
The deadline to subscribe in time to get the April 2025 issue is 23:59 on the 31st (which is next Monday) and you can learn about the newsletter plus the perks you will enjoy as a subscriber here:
https://philtyreman.co.uk/information/
Thank you,
Phil Tyreman
P.S. I have been asked if women are “allowed” to become Phil Tyreman Letter subscribers.
The short answer is yes.
The longer and more interesting answer is that I’ve actually found women tend to do better than men in aggregate, although there is certainly some selection bias at play here. (For example, the book I give subscribers as a joining bonus has the word “man” in the subtitle, which puts off all the ladies who think looking at a weight will make them bulky, don’t want a strong upper body, and so on.)